Pre-Planning a Funeral: A Practical Gift to the Family You Will Leave Behind
Pre-Planning a Funeral: A Practical Gift to the Family You Will Leave Behind
Almost everyone says they will sit down and write out their end-of-life wishes some day. Most never do. The truth is that the few hours it takes to plan a funeral while you are healthy will save your family days of stress and thousands of dollars at one of the worst moments of their lives. The funeral directors at established mortuary services see the difference clearly: families who have something written down look calm and grateful, families who do not look lost.
Why pre-planning matters more than people think
When someone dies, the surviving family typically has 24 to 72 hours to make a chain of consequential decisions: burial or cremation, casket or urn, viewing or no viewing, which clergy, what music, what to put in the obituary, which charities should receive memorial gifts. Each of those decisions has a financial component. Made in grief, almost all of them get made more expensively than they would be otherwise.
What pre-planning actually covers
A complete pre-plan is shorter than people imagine. It includes the basic disposition choice (burial versus cremation), the funeral home you would like to handle arrangements, whether you want a religious or secular service, a few preferences on music or readings, and whether you have already prepaid for any of it. That is it. A handwritten page is fine; a formal document at your mortuary is better; a fully prepaid funeral plan is best.
Prepaying is sometimes worth it
Most reputable mortuaries offer a prepaid funeral plan that locks in today’s prices for services delivered whenever they are needed. The math usually favours pre-payment: funeral costs rise faster than inflation, and your family avoids the cost increase. The plans are held in trust or backed by insurance, so the money is protected if the mortuary changes hands. Make sure to ask which structure the provider uses before paying.
Wishes you should always write down
Even if you do not formally prepay, write down these specifics: cremation versus burial, religious affiliation, preferred funeral home, names of pallbearers (if traditional service), preferred music, any military honours you are entitled to, what to do with cremated remains. Keep the document in a place your family can find it easily — not in a safe deposit box, which often cannot be accessed until after the funeral.
Talk to your family
A written plan is essential, but a conversation is just as important. Tell at least one family member where the plan is stored and what your high-level wishes are. The number of families who discover a parent’s wishes a week after the funeral — in a drawer they did not think to check — is high enough to be its own argument for having the conversation.
A surprising kindness
Pre-planning sounds morbid until you realise the kindness it represents. Your family will grieve regardless. The question is whether they will also be carrying the cognitive load of guessing what you would have wanted, while the funeral director waits for an answer they can never know for sure. A short written plan, signed by you, removes all of that.
If you have not done this yet, the best time to call a trusted local funeral provider for a pre-planning conversation is today, not when you finally feel ready. It is one of those decisions where the work upfront pays back many times over later.
Roderick Smith is a writer, blogger, and business owner. He has been writing for over 5 years and his blog naouelmoha.net offers valuable information about the business, health, law, and the latest technology. Roderick lives in Nashville with his wife and three children.
